Yes, I'll marry you, my dear, and here's the reason why;
So I can push you out of bed when the baby starts to cry,
And if we hear a knocking and it's creepy and it's late,
I hand you the torch you see, and you investigate.

Yes I'll marry you, my dear, you may not apprehend it,
But when the tumble-drier goes it's you that has to mend it,
You have to face the neighbour should our labrador attack him,
And if a drunkard fondles me it's you that has to whack him.

Yes, I'll marry you, You're virile and you're lean,
My house is like a pigsty you can help to keep it clean.
That sexy little dinner which you served by candlelight,
As I do chipolatas, you can cook it every night!

It's you who has to work the drill and put up curtain track,
And when I've got PMT it's you who gets the flak,
I do see great advantages,
But none of them for you, and so before you see the light,
I do, I do, I do!