He Never Leaves The Seat Up { Funny wedding reading }

A Lovely Love Story by Edward MonktonI'll Be There For You By Louise Cuddon { Funny Wedding reading }

He Never Leaves The Seat Up wedding reading

He never leaves the seat up
Or wet towels upon the floor
The toothpaste has the lid on
And he always shuts the door!

She’s very clean and tidy
Though she may sometimes delude
Leave your things out at your peril
In a second they’ll have moved!

He’s a very active person
As are all his next of kin
Where as she likes lazy days
He’ll still drag her to the gym!

He romances her and dines her
Home cooked dinners and the like
He even knows her favourite food
And spoils her day and night!

She’s thoughtful when he looks at her
A smile upon his face
Will he look that good in 50 years
When his dentures aren’t in place?!

He says he loves her figure
And her mental prowess too
But when gravity takes her over
Will she charm with her IQ?

She says she loves his kindness
And his patience is a must
And of course she thinks he’s handsome
Which in her eyes is a plus!

They’re both not wholly perfect
But who are we to judge
He can be pig headed
Where as she won’t even budge!

All that said and done
They love the time they spent together
And I hope as I’m sure you do
That this fine day will last forever.

He’ll be more than just her husband
He’ll also be her friend
And she’ll be more than just his wife
She’s be his soul mate ‘till the end.

 




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A Lovely Love Story by Edward MonktonI'll Be There For You By Louise Cuddon { Funny Wedding reading }

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22 Comments

  • Hi everyone,

    Hope you all are well and thank you so much for stopping by here.

    Would you mind sharing with others what wedding reading you are having?

    Kind regards
    Ninize xx

  • We are having

    MARRIAGE IS By Emily Matthews

    Someone to believe in
    And to put their trust in you
    Someone who appreciates
    The special things you do,
    Someone to be close to,
    In your heart and mind,
    Someone who’s the love
    You might have thought you’d never find,
    Someone who stands by you
    And whose faith can make you strong,
    Someone you will cherish
    Every day, your whole life long.

    and

    Marriage Fulfills the Dreams and Love Two People Share By Glenda Wilm

    Everyone searches for one special person
    They can share their lives with.
    The other half who makes them whole,
    Like two notes blending together to make a beautiful song,
    Or the colours that complement
    Each other to form a rainbow.
    It is everyone’s wish to have a lifetime of sunny days,
    A rainbow after every storm;
    A lifetime of loving and living and growing and giving,
    Of sharing and caring; a lifetime of days together,
    Learning from the bad times and cherishing the good times.
    Marriage is everything your heart desires
    And the strength, courage and determination to work for it.
    In marriage you take care of each other’s heart
    And hold on to what you share.
    You hold it gently so it doesn’t smother
    And firmly so it doesn’t slip away.
    Hold it so that it can grow
    And you can grow together
    And live and laugh and love together always.

  • I’m having church ceremony but was given this which is lovely

    On Your Wedding Day
    Author Unknown

    Today is a day you will always remember
    The greatest in anyone’s life
    You’ll start off the day just two people in love
    And end it as Husband and Wife

    It’s a brand new beginning the start of a journey
    With moments to cherish and treasure
    And although there’ll be times when you both disagree
    These will surely be outweighed by pleasure

    You’ll have heard many words of advice in the past
    When the secrets of marriage were spoken
    But you know that the answers lie hidden inside
    Where the bond of true love lies unbroken

    So live happy forever as lovers and friends
    It’s the dawn of a new life for you
    As you stand there together with love in your eyes
    From the moment you whisper ‘I do’

    And with luck, all your hopes, and your dreams can be real
    May success find it’s way to your hearts
    Tomorrow can bring you the greatest of joys
    But today is the day it all starts.

  • I’m having this from Captain Corelli’s Mandolin…

    Love is a temporary madness; it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of eternal passion. That is just being in love, which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Those that truly love have roots that grow towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms have fallen from their branches, they find that they are one tree and not two.

    I think its beautiful!

    xx

    • Hi Rebecca,

      I read the Captain Correllis one at my friends wedding last year and it went down very well. It was quite hard to read when i could see the bride and groom in tears though!

      I am having a church service.. otherwise I would have hours of fun with that! I also like the Edward Monkton one

  • We are getting my sister to read this. Changing to he’s for theys to make it more neutral. I love the sentiment of it, tho will be removing the line about abuse and neglect and praying!

    What is a friend? I will tell you.
    It is a person with whom you dare to be yourself. Your soul can be naked with him. He seems to ask of you to put on nothing, only to be what you are. He does not want you to be better or worse. When you are with him you feel as a prisoner feels who has been declared innocent. You do not have to be on your guard. You can say what you think, so long as it is genuinely you. He understands those contradictions in your nature that lead others to misjudge you. With him you breathe freely. You can avow your little vanities and envies and hates and vicious sparks, your meannesses and absurdities and, in opening them up to him, they are lost, dissolved on the white ocean of his loyalty. He understands. You do not have to be careful. You can abuse him, neglect him, tolerate him. Best of all, you can keep still with him. It makes no matter. He likes you – he is like the fire that purges to the bone. He understands, he understands. You can weep with him, sin with him, laugh with him, pray with him. Through it all – and underneath – he sees, knows, and loves you.

  • We are having a lovely love story. I have bought a copy of the book for my friend who is doing the reading as a reminder of the day. x

  • I was going to have a lovely love story by Edward Monkoton, but changed my mind now ,its popular!

    Not sure what to have now. I wanted something that not many people know, something different.

    • you can never go wrong with these:

      “guess how much i love you” by sam mcbratney

      “love you forever” by robert munsch

      “runnaway bunny” by margaret wise

      “the mirror” from when we were young by a.a. milne

      “us two” from now we are six by a.a. milne

      “pooh, promise you will never forget me, ever” excerpt from the house at pooh corner by a.a. milne

      “what is real” from the velveteen rabbit by margery williams

  • I’m having the Pam Ayres one but i’ve changed some of it to make it bit more personal, I’m also having if you go to a wedding which again I’ve changed a bit too! Just make it suit with us.
    We both wanted light hearted readings and he never leaves the seat up is funny but still has the ahhhh factor at the end!

  • Hi,
    We need a reading for the wedding and I’m so stuck I’ve read poem after poem and nothing seems just right i dont want mushy i dont want shakespear something lighty hearted ??
    Any ideas anyone please ?????

    • Here are two different readings. They’re from a book by Mercedes Lackey.

      This bond, this joining, is not meant to be a fetter. A joining is a partnership, not two people becoming one. Two minds cannot fuse, two souls cannot merge, two hearts cannot keep to the same time. If two are foolish enough to try this, one must overwhelm the other, and that is not love, nor is it compassion, nor responsibility. You are two who choose to walk the same path, to bridge the differences between you with love. You must remember and respect those differences and learn to understand them, for they are part of what made you come to love in the first place. Love is patient, love is willing to compromise—love is willing to admit it is wrong. There will be hard times; you must face them as bound warriors do, side by side, not using the weapon of your knowledge to tear at each other. There will be sadness as well as joy, and must support one another through the grief and sorrow. There will be pain—but pain shared is pain halved, as joy shared is joy doubled, and you each must sacrifice your own comfort to share the pain of the other. And yet, you must do all this and manage to keep each other from wrong actions, for a joining means that you also pledge to help one another at all times. You must lead each other by example. Guide and be willing to be guided. Being joined does not mean that you accept what is truly wrong, being joined means that you must strive that you both remain in the light and the right. You must not pledge yourselves thinking that there will be no strife between you. That is fantasy, for you are two and not one, and there will inevitably come conflict that it will be up to you to resolve. You must not pledge yourselves thinking that all will be well from this moment on. That is a dream, and dreamers must eventually wake. You must come to this joining fully ready, fully committed, and fully respectful of each other.

      Now you will no longer fear the storm, for you find shelter in each other.
      Now the winter cannot harm you, for you warm each other with love.
      Now when strength fails, you will be the wind to each other’s wings.
      Now the darkness holds no danger, for you will be the light to each other’s path.
      Now you will defy despair, for you will bring hope to each other’s heart.
      Now there will be no more loneliness, for there will always be a hand reaching out to aid you when all seems darkest.
      Where there were two paths, now there is one.
      May your days together be long upon the earth, and each day blessed with joy in each other.

  • Here are ours which are being read by mine and husband to be’s sister (we have one each lol) The second one is to be read by my sister, who is married but they are working through some probs and she really loves it:

    ‘On Your Wedding Day’, Author Unknown
    Today is a day you will always remember
    The greatest in anyone’s life
    You’ll start off the day just two people in Love
    And end it as Husband and Wife
    It’s a brand new beginning the start of a journey
    With moments to cherish and treasure
    And although there’ll be times when you both disagree
    These will surely be outweighed by pleasure
    You’ll have heard many words of advice in the past
    When the secrets of marriage were spoken
    But you know that the answers lie hidden inside
    Where the bond of true Love lies unbroken
    So live happy forever as Lovers and friends
    It’s the dawn of a new life for you
    As you stand there together with Love in your eyes
    From the moment you whisper ‘I do’
    And with luck, all your hopes, and your dreams can be real
    May success find it’s way to your hearts
    Tomorrow can bring you the greatest of joys
    But today is the day it all starts

    from Captain Corelli’s mandolin, by Louis de Bernieres
    Love is a temporary madness; it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision.
    You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part.
    Because this is what Love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of eternal passion. That is just being in Love, which any fool can do.
    Love itself is what is left over when being in Love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.
    Those that truly Love have roots that grow towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms have fallen from their branches, they find that they are one tree and not two.

  • We are having A MARRIAGE – By Michael Blumenthal, and sonnet 116 – it is hard to find the right note though….

    You are holding up a ceiling
    with both arms. It is very heavy,
    but you must hold it up, or else
    it will fall down on you. Your arms
    are tired, terribly tired,
    and, as the day goes on, it feels
    as if either your arms or the ceiling
    will soon collapse.
    But then,
    unexpectedly,
    something wonderful happens:
    Someone,
    a man or a woman,
    walks into the room
    and holds their arms up
    to the ceiling beside you.
    So you finally get
    to take down your arms.
    You feel the relief of respite,
    the blood flowing back
    to your fingers and arms.
    And when your partner’s arms tire,
    you hold up your own
    to relieve him again.
    And it can go on like this
    for many years
    without the house falling.

  • We’re having he never leaves the seat up and

    Marriage doesn’t come flat packed

    Marriage is not an impulse buy.
    Like getting flat pack furniture from a life style store.
    It’s not something you have to impress your friends,
    Because everyone said it’s of the latest trends.????
    It’s not cherry veneer on MDF, with castors and handles to match.
    Something you can wheel around with the flick of a catch.

    It’s more like that old sideboard in the corner supporting the wall.
    It has a drawer for odd things like string, hooks, fuses and tape.
    Another for old photos, pictures and things that have meaning.
    It has solid feet and wood blocks to prevent it from leaning.
    There’s a place underneath for your favourite shoes.
    And a nook to store things you don’t want to lose.

    It’s not held together with clever catches and odd shaped screws.
    It has dovetail joints stuck with care and old fashioned glue.
    It’s solid and warm with coffee ring stains and edges that don’t catch.
    It’s totally unique. No others to match.
    It has a familiar real wood smell,
    And you know that it will always serve you both well.????

    This thing is BIG.????
    It can take knocks and scrapes and the odd small explosion.????
    It can be mended and fixed with care and devotion.????
    You may decide to have it restored,????
    A coat of French polish and new liners for drawers.????
    Hopefully, an occasional rub down is all that’s required…

    You can cover it in chintz, velvet or paint.????
    It can be kitsch, cheesy, tasteful or quaint.????
    The point is that it’s yours to change.????
    It doesn’t have to fit with the latest range.????
    It can be grand, outrageous, fun or tame,????
    Because it’s built on a hardwood frame.????

    This piece has no price tag. It’s not on a list and can’t be bought in a sale.????
    There’s no receipt, it can’t go back to the shop or be sold.????
    It doesn’t come in flat pack with a plan and some packing.????
    It may end up battered, tired and lacking.????
    But it’s yours. Yours alone. Don’t be tempted to chuck it into a skip,????
    Because fashion dictates that sideboards aren’t hip.????

  • we’re having:

    What is a soulmate?

    If you have found a smile
    That is the sweetest on you’ve known;
    If you have heard, within a voice,
    The echoes of your own.

    If you have felt a touch
    That stirs the longings of your heart,
    And still can feel that closeness
    In the moments you’re apart.

    If you have filled with wonder
    At the way two lives can blend
    To weave a perfect pattern
    That is seamless, end to end.

    If you believe some things in life
    Are simply meant to be,
    Then you have found your soul mate,
    And that is plain to see.

    and He Never Leaves the Seat Up will be read out by my dad before his speech:

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